One

Charlotte turns 1 tomorrow.  I just can't believe it.  Everyone told me that the first year (well really all of them, but especially the first) goes by incredibly quickly.  They were right, but what's so interesting about that first year is how much changes in such a short time.  There's so much change that it can mess with your sense of time--suddenly three months can both fly by but also crawl at a snail's pace as you wonder when the baby will sleep thru the night, not need as many feedings, get on a regular napping schedule, etc.  Then pretty soon six months has gone by and that baby is a totally different person, both in looks and development.  Before baby, six months was a time period that separated winter from summer, bone chilling weather from sunny days outside, Crock-Pot dinners from barbecues.  This year it was the difference between a tiny newborn and a sitting, rolling, busy baby.

Last year at this time I knew I'd be giving birth on June 2nd.  Charlotte was stubborn and couldn't care less that her due date was May 26th.  After seeing that date come and go and no signs of anything changing, I was scheduled for an induction.  The days before were nerve-wracking, and the night before was similar to how I felt the night before starting high school but times 10: very nervous, very excited, very uncertain, and terrified I'd get lost.  My cousin Chris and his wife, Jen, announced their pregnancy at the same time Chad and I did.  It was fun to have someone to experience that whole journey with, someone who knew exactly what it was like to be just as pregnant as I was.  When we discovered we were both having girls it became even more fun and exciting.  I'd never had another girl in my family to bond with, so for Charlotte to have a built in buddy right in her own family was a great thing.  Jen's due date was about a week after mine, and all along she said our girls would be born on the same day.  I thought that would be extra special if they were, but I honestly believed Jen would end up giving birth sometime in May and I'd finally come around a couple weeks later.

Chad and I were told to arrive at the hospital at 5AM on 6/2.  They started the induction at 6AM, and for the first several hours I just kind of hung out, waiting for something to happen.  I received a text message sometime in mid-morning, maybe around 9.  It was Jen saying she was on her way to the hospital.  From the sounds of things, her little lady was on her way!  Fast forward to that evening.  I was holding my brand new, sweet, beautiful baby girl when my mom told me that Ellie had been born exactly 2 hours and 9 minutes before her cousin Charlotte.  She was in a hospital across town so we had to settle for picture messages, but both girls were perfect.  Charlotte and Ellie now have not just a permanent friend in one another but a really cool story to go along with it.

Here are the girls through the months:

Ellie & Charlotte, 2 weeks old

2 months!

2 months

3 months--and entranced by the ceiling fan

3 months

4 months!

November 2012--5 months!

Christmas 2012--6 months!

February 2012--8 months

May 2012--11 months

I have just one year of parenting wisdom under my belt, which isn't much but it is enough to compile a list for myself of things I learned during the pregnancy and infancy stages.  Maybe one day this will be helpful to look back to for Charlotte's future sibling(s) and will serve as a reminder of things I may "forget"along the way.

Dear Self,

• You are not one of those women who exclaim to love being pregnant, wish it went on forever, and feel beautiful the whole time.  You will likely feel nauseous for a good 2-3 months, have nerve pain that shoots down your leg like lightening and makes you walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, and enjoy heartburn and swelling for at least the final trimester.  You may be reduced to tears when your store bought pizza dough fails to fit the pan or while watching Florence Henderson's back story on Dancing With the Stars.  You've been warned.

• Despite not feeling cute in any way while pregnant, you will remember the time spent hoping to see that second pink line and being disappointed when it never came.  You'll remember wishing to feel morning sickness because it would mean that you were actually pregnant.  A piece of you will be thankful that the smell of coffee makes you gag and that you feel horrid because that means everything's working.  You will remember that it is absolutely worth it.

• You will not leave the hospital after delivering looking much different than when you walk in.  You will arrive home feeling 7 months pregnant with a giant bowl of Jell-O.  You might wear maternity jeans for three more months.  You might dare to step on the scale 3 days post-partum and be horrified that you've only lost 11 pounds, despite gaining much, much more than that.  You might go bathing suit shopping and feel like you're stuck in a funhouse.  Don't worry, you'll get there.  It might take 10 months and a subscription to Weight Watchers, but you'll get there.

• You'll be tired and more than a little absent-minded.  This may lead you to complete an entire shopping trip at Target with a bib stuck to your rear end.  Don't underestimate the magnetic pull of Velcro to those belly bands you'll most likely be wearing.  They can suck any wayward object onto them, causing you to be blissfully unaware that you just walked thru a store with a crustacean adorned bib stating "Crabby When Hungry!" dangling from your backside like toilet paper from a skirt.  Note to self: look in a mirror before you leave the house and make sure you turn around.

• Speaking of absent-mindedness, don't be surprised if you lose your keys or lock them in your car.  More than once.  All in the same week.  You're still a good mom, just make sure it's the keys you're losing and not the baby.

• You now understand the loss of words that comes with explaining one's feelings for their child.  You get it--there really isn't a description big enough to do it justice.  

• You will never tell a nervous soon-to-be mom that "it won't hurt" or "you'll forget all about it."  Neither of these are true.  Forgetting what labor and childbirth is actually like would be like forgetting your own name.  Or forgetting if a dinosaur came roaring down your street and lifted your house off the ground and someone brought it up later at a party and you said "Oh that, I totally forgot!"  No, you won't forget.  You just won't mind doing it again because the benefits grossly outweigh the costs.  

• Your life before having a child is a significant but distant memory.  It was a great life, but this one is greater.  Imaginations aren't big enough to dream up how great it really is to meet your child and watch them grow.  Don't kid yourself--you'll be puked, pooped and peed on.  You'll try to rock your sobbing newborn to sleep in the middle of the night wondering whose tears you feel on your cheeks, convinced that they'll never sleep more than 2 hours at a time.  You'll give up most of your free time, a lot of your money, and all of your soul.  It'll be the best thing you ever lose.

Happy 1st Birthday, little one. 

~Stacy