Howard's Story

I've started and stopped this post a few times in the past month, but now that the dust is starting to settle I think I can finally write it. We had to find a new home for our dog, Howard. He's been absent from this blog since January, even though he just went to live with his new family on Friday. The decision to find him a new home was made awhile ago though, and it just felt too weird to post any pictures or stories about him when I knew he wouldn't be with us much longer.

So to back up, I've mentioned that Howard is "quirky" and "disgruntled" and has "questionable" social skills. Those are all true, and they're also nice and somewhat vague ways of saying that he has  aggression issues. In particular, he's not a huge fan of kids or other dogs (and some other things, but those are two that stand out). While he's never done anything physically harmful, he has acted in ways that convinced us he was unpredictable and could not be trusted to behave safely in an environment with a young child. So, rather than live in situation that could be unsafe to our child or work around the issue by crating him often or gating him away from us (no fun for him at all), we decided that the best situation for everyone involved would be to find him a home that was free of children and animals with a family that understood his needs and behaviors and was willing to work with him.

We had been working with a local Corgi Rescue group for over 15 months now. We originally reached out to them when the behaviors really starting causing a problem and they were able to connect us with an animal trainer and behavior specialist who came out to our house and showed us some things we could do to work with him. While some of his issues did improve the major concern that we had all along remained the same: the safety issue with our child and children in general. Over the summer, we had decided that we were going to look for a new home for him as soon as we returned from vacation in Maine. Well, I missed him a lot on vacation and dragged my heels and kept putting off what I knew was the inevitable. Why? Because it was easier to tiptoe around him and manage his attitude than it was to deal with the emotional difficulty of giving him away. I couldn't go through with it, even if I knew deep down that I needed to.

It became clear around the start of this year that dragging our heels was simply not an option anymore. I reached out to the Corgi Rescue agency again, and they ended up working with me to place an ad for Howard on Petfinder. They screened applicants who fit both their requirements and Howard's and sent me the ones who "passed." It was then up to me to reach out to those people and talk to them and determine who would become Howard's new family. We kept Howard with us the whole time until we found a match--I knew that putting him into a foster situation would have wreaked havoc on him. Also, I wanted to know where he was going, who he was going to live with in his "forever home." It was important to me that we picked the best home possible.

Well, we didn't have to wait very long. A couple weeks ago I contacted someone who was interested in him and we ended up talking on the phone one night for almost two hours. I felt like we had known each other for years after talking to her--the conversation just flowed so easily. I gave her the whole Howard story, withholding nothing because it's important that whomever ended up adopting him understand everything about his personality and why we've made the decision we have. They needed to know about everything--his positive traits and all his negative traits.

It turns out that the person I spoke to that night had recently lost her beloved Corgi in January after almost 14 years together. That Corgi also had some, ahem, "behavior challenges" so she knew what she was in for with Howard. She and her husband and college-age daughter had fallen for Howard in his photo (even his name, which made me happy!) and after hearing his story they were still smitten. After several emails and more phone calls, it was decided that they were definitely going to be Howard's new family.

So, this past Friday, we loaded him and his belongings into the car and made our way to Oakmont, PA to deliver him to his new home. I thought I would be more of wreck that day, but I was surprisingly calm and ready. I had been saying goodbye to him for two weeks and having moments of sadness the whole time. I was ready to move forward and focus on the positive parts of what was happening: that Howard was going to his forever home, a place where he could be his quirky self without any barriers in a place with people who could love and appreciate him despite some of his issues.

When we arrived, he sniffed around their yard and then went inside and immediately hopped up on the couch. He seemed a little unsure, but much more relaxed than he typically is when he goes someplace different (particularly the vet or the kennel, where he hides and shakes). We immediately felt comfortable with the B. family, like they were people we'd known for a long time and had visited before. They had even made up a bag of Easter goodies for Charlotte and didn't blink and eye when she starting rummaging through things in their living room and attempting to climb their stairs. We stayed about an hour, talking and laughing like we were old friends. When we left, we kept it quick. I didn't want to start bawling in their house and making things super awkward for everyone and besides, I'd had my moment like that with Howard that morning (and all week). I was relieved that he didn't try to follow us out; he stayed in his comfy spot on the couch, almost as if he knew he was staying and that he was okay with it.

It wasn't even an hour later that I got this picture:

That's him snuggled up to his new sister. He took to her pretty quickly, and I found out the next day that he slept with her that night. They've texted me updates, which I appreciate so, so much. It makes the transition much easier knowing that he's doing well and seeing photos like this. In fact, last night they texted me a photo of him totally relaxed on couch, watching "Tootsie" with the whole family. It made my day :) He also got to show off his agility skills at the park and went on a long walk.

He's already happy there, and he's going to love it even more as he gets more comfortable and settled. In fact, he gets to go on vacation to Martha's Vineyard with them which makes me terribly jealous! I truly could not have asked for a better family to come along for him.

This is not a situation I ever thought I would be in. Growing up, we always had at least one dog in our home and we've always seen our dogs through until the end of their lives. This is not a decision I wish on anyone to have to make. I had many times where I felt like I failed him, or where I felt horribly guilty, or where I just felt sad. But no one ever promised that a good decision would come easily. And I owed it to him to make sure that he ended up in an environment where he could thrive. He put his trust in me to keep him safe and happy and cared for; the hardest part was admitting that I wasn't the best person for the job.

Since making this decision, I've had a few people reach out to me who are in similar situations with their animals. It's such a personal decision that it can be hard to give advice on this topic. What was right for me is not right for everyone. The best thing I could offer is to trust your gut. Chances are you know what the right decision is; it's just a matter of admitting it and taking action. I believe this is true for every major decision in life.

This weekend has been tough. We are really feeling his absence in a way I don't think we were prepared for. It's very quiet...we have hardwood floors throughout our house, so if Howard was up he was making noise. Those paws were constantly tip-tapping on the hard surfaces and not having that makes it eerily quiet. When there's a noise outside or the mailman comes, there's no barking. This is the first time we've ever lived in this house without a dog, so it's a big adjustment.

So that it my epically long story, and thank you for reading. This has taken the wind out of my sails for the past few weeks and I've had a hard time getting motivated to do much of anything. I woke up today determined to make more of an effort to get back into the swing of things, so I'll be back to my regular blogging and positive posts soon.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

~Stacy

The Boss

My boss oversees all of my work. He's not really one for hard work but he watches me like a hawk to make sure my work is up to his standards. I don't even know what his standards are because he's never told me. He just stares, silently judging, until he gets distracted or falls asleep. The only time he seems engaged in work is when we stop working and do something he thinks is fun. I have no idea how he ended up in a job of such importance.

The project was to sew a small makeup bag. I showed him the fabric samples: 

Hmm.

I'm underwhelmed.

Your work bores me. I'd rather watch birds.

I asked him if he wanted to see the finished product--which I thought turned out nicely. No response, so I showed it to him anyway.

No response. Frustrated by his lack of interest, I asked if we should take a break and go outside.

That got his attention.

Some fresh air and movement perked him up. Nothing like a little Frisbee to brighten your day. Get ready for some Corgi action shots:

Those ears are like satellite dishes. I love them :)

~Stacy

Guilty

I have two guilty parties living in my house.

The first:

Charged with: eating at least three dozen dry pinto beans from Charlotte's science bin and waiting until it was time for Chad and I to go to bed to throw them all up. On the carpet, no less. It doesn't matter that  of all the flooring on the first floor, about 90% is a hard surface and relatively easy to clean up. Nope, when one must be sick one must run to carpeted ground.

Verdict: Guilty. There's really no further investigation necessary.

Sentence: I think he suffered enough. Trust me.

The second guilty party:

Don't let those big eyes and cherubic cheeks fool you; she's not as innocent as she looks.

Charged with: covertly feeding the dog beans after Mommy repeatedly explained that "we don't feed puppies beans"; cooking the dog some play soup at her kitchen and pretending to feed him but actually hiding a bunch of beans inside the soup bowl and secretly giving him a snack he couldn't refuse. Multiple times. Also, quietly reopening the lid to the box after I closed it so the dog could free feed out of it like a savage. Which he did.

Verdict: Guilty by way of assistance.

Sentence: None, she's adorable. 

So now when she wants to play "beans", as she puts it, we have to either gate Howard in the kitchen or sit right there with her to make sure the beans aren't ending up in the wrong paws (har har). Though after last night's episode he didn't seem very interested in them today so maybe the lesson was learned. Then again, this is an animal who willingly eats far worse things on a regular basis, so I shouldn't get my hopes up.

Here's hoping for a quieter, cleaner evening :) Have a great weekend!

~Stacy

2012 Review: The Happiness Project

Today is the last day of 2012. Overall, I can't complain; it was a good year. It had its ups and downs, as does any year, and as I was looking through all of my photos from the last 12 months I was reminded of how many happy moments there were. I always welcome the promise of a new year and I'm excited about 2013 and moving into a new year and new adventures. Here's a glance back at my 2012 and the things that made it special. And yes, about 90% of these are of my girl. Every moment with her is reason to celebrate.

I wish you all the best that life can bring in 2013! Thank you for taking the time to read my little blog.

~Stacy

Tea for Two

Charlotte loves to share her pretend food/drinks with, well, everyone. Howard was the most recent recipient of her generosity.

Offering Howard some grape soda:

She disappeared to find something more suitable.

 She poured some milk into her teacup...

...and taste tested to ensure quality as Howard salivated in the background.

Howard isn't so sure about this beverage.

She decided to skip the formalities and just let him drink straight from her sippy cup.

Goofball.

Don't worry, Howard did NOT actually drink from her sippy cup or lick it. That would be gross.

Side note: Can you believe Christmas is almost two weeks away?? That's nuts. Thanks to the wonderful world of the internet, my shopping is done. The presents are wrapped and hidden in various places throughout the house, which may or may not have been a good idea. I'm worried that I ended up hiding a few from myself...I like the feeling of being done and having some time to do a little more of this before big day is here:

I hope you enjoyed your weekend.

~Stacy

Learning to Share

Charlotte loves playing with everything in the kitchen. Emptying cupboards and taking things out of drawers is her favorite, but it can get really challenging for me to work safely when she's literally underfoot. We don't have a real pantry, but we do have an alcove in our kitchen that we created a makeshift pantry out of and covered it with a curtain. It's out of the way of the stove, dishwasher, etc. so I let Charlotte empty the bottom shelf to her heart's content.

Yesterday she was playing in the "pantry" and I walked into the dining room for a minute. I heard some rattling and rustling. No big deal. A minute later I heard crunching. Lots of crunching.

I walked in to see their heads together, executing teamwork in its finest form.

They took turns, and I'm pretty sure they might have shared at least one of the same cracker.

And that's all I have to say about that.

~Stacy

Happy Birthday, Howard

Howard is three today. It feels like he should be at least twelve--not because he acts old but because it seems like we've had him forever. Is that good or bad? Some days both.

We brought Howard home on Christmas Eve of 2009. He was just about three months old at the time and beyond adorable. I chalk it up to temporary insanity caused by holiday cheer that we A) adopted a second dog (Henry was about 8 at the time) and B) adopted a puppy. I had sworn off puppies. Why? They're bad. They go to the bathroom on the floor, they need to be let outside several times a night, they whine in their crates, they eat stuff they shouldn't, their energy levels are through the roof and their razor sharp puppy teeth should be considered a weapon. They also need tons of shots, spayed/neutered, and LOTS of patience. And probably obedience classes.

This was taken about 10 minutes after Howard came home for the first time!

I honestly think living with a newborn is easier than living with a new puppy.

But alas, hindsight is 20/20 and while there may be no more puppies crossing the threshold of my home in the future there was one on December 24, 2009. He was part of a litter of six--three females, three males, and he and his brother were the only ones left. His name for the first 12 weeks of life? O'Donnell. Kind of cute, but I get a kick out of old man names for dogs. And Howard just sounded right with Henry.

Howard is a complicated creature. He has a lot of, shall we say, quirks. For starters, he doesn't really like anyone he meets. For a lot of people, he comes around eventually but "eventually" can mean over a year. Case in point: he adores my brother and sister-in-law, but it's really been only the past year or so that he's displayed any sort of affection for them. Before that it was apathy at best and hiding at worst. His circle of "acceptable people" has grown considerably, especially recently. I label him as "slow to warm."

He also dislikes other dogs. The ones he really doesn't like get barked and snarled at; all the others he just ignores. He's also been known to charge wildly at another dog, typically one who is large enough to eat him whole, barking like a madman and generally raising hell. He stops himself just in the knick of time because at his heart he's actually terrified. All bark and no bite, that dog.

There is one exception to his disdain for everyone else in the canine category: my parents' dog Frances. He loved that dog, worshipped the ground she walked on, and (we think) whole-heartedly believed she was his mother. When Frances passed away last summer, he was despondent. Sadly, he has not found their new dog, Izzy, to be a suitable replacement.

Howard and his one true love: Frances

One loss he wasn't despondent over? Henry. Henry and Howard had a strange relationship. They didn't hate each other, but there definitely was no love lost. They would get into occasional spats (always over food), which one time resulted in a wayward paw whacking Henry in the face and busting open his eyelid, which required not one but two rounds of stitches and anesthesia. Lovely. Other than that, they generally ignored each other when awake but oftentimes wound up sleeping in a heap together. One time Howard stayed at my parents house for a few days while Henry was here (recovering from surgery) and when Howard got home Henry forgot to act disinterested and ran to the door, excited. When Henry passed away, Howard was different--but I can't really say that he missed Henry. I think what he missed most was the security of having another dog around to show him how to behave and without that he went a little nuts for awhile.

Howard & Henry

Howard & Henry

Howard has a lot of anxiety issues and is generally a rather nervous animal. His bark is so loud that I can hear him at the end of the street with the windows closed. His behavior toward strangers (human and otherwise) is embarrassing and often frustrating. Where Henry could go anywhere with us and was happy to get pets from anything or anyone, Howard is usually not suitable for public consumption.

But...he has his positives. When he does get to know and like someone, they're in for life. He will get so excited to see you that he won't be able to run in a straight line. He'll jump in your lap, kiss your face, and fall asleep at your feet. He's one of the only dogs I've ever been around who truly is a lap dog. He'll come and curl up in a ball on my lap and let me use him as a resting place for my book. He'll snuggle up between us when we're watching TV and he finds his way into our bed every night, sleeping sweetly in a ball and occasionally offering a lick just to remind us that he's there and could we please, maybe pet his ears?

He loves going on walks and car rides. He's a smart dog who picks up on things quickly. He was the easiest puppy to train--easily housebroken, barely a peep in his crate, and never destructive of things that weren't his. His intense love of playing Frisbee is fun to watch, and the joy on his face as he's playing is the best. Oh, and he's really, really adorable. If he wasn't so crazy I'd send his pictures to ad agencies so he could be in commercials.

He's handled the huge life change of a new baby in the house as well as could be expected. There have been a few hiccups and bumps along the way, but he's adapting and coping a little better every day. We take the bad with the good, and his good definitely outweighs his bad. At the end of the day, there's just something about him that I love. Some days, especially his not so good days, it's hard to remember why I love this dog but I do. He's just my Howard. My three year old Howard.

Meeting Charlotte for the first time 

We put a ThunderShirt on him for the first time and he had no idea what to do with himself. This is his attempt at sitting.

We are celebrating by letting him lick the dinner plates when we're done eating and allowing him to sleep on the couch. Oh wait...that's every day.

Have a fabulous weekend!

~Stacy