This little beauty came into the world earlier this week and we could not be more in love! I ended up getting induced early Monday morning and, overall, had a very smooth and quick delivery (let's not discuss the seven failed attempts at finding a vein to start the process, which thankfully proved to be the worst part of the entire birthing experience).
Sweet baby Elise came into the world guns blazing, majorly ticked off that she was rudely taken from her dark, warm home and thrust into a cold, bright room. She remained ticked off for about an hour, but honestly, that's the most we've heard in cry so far. This baby is so laid back and content--a good eater (eventually, that took a few days) and a great sleeper. I'm crossing everything I can in hopes that these traits last :)
We came home on Wednesday and had a couple days of just the four of us until we had any visitors over, so today was the first day that anyone has come to the house. It was nice having that break, especially since a lot of the aches and pains that come with having a baby can hit like a ton of bricks a few days after, once the major high of everything starts to come down. I'm over the hump now, and feeling good.
I remember wondering at various points of the "should we have another child?" discussions whether I could ever love another one the way I love Charlotte. I don't really have anything wise to say about this, other than once Elise was here I just did. There was no question, no comparing, no "I grew another heart" business; I just loved her as intensely as I love Charlotte without any effort. So now I get what people meant when they answered that question with "I don't know, I can't explain it, you just do."
My pregnancy with Elise oftentimes felt much longer than mine with Charlotte. Looking back, I feel like it went by very quickly, but then again everything feels like it went by quickly when you reflect. I heard a lot of people remark that they were so much more laid back about their second pregnancies because they'd been through the drill before so they didn't worry as much about everything. For me this was oftentimes the opposite.
When I was pregnant with Charlotte I had my fair share of worries--but I also had the benefit of ignorance. Ignorance over the whole thing; aches, pains, what was normal and what wasn't. But mostly, I had the ignorance of not knowing the stakes--of knowing that the baby that comes at the end of that pregnancy would become the most special thing in this world to me. This time around, I knew the stakes. And also, this time felt too good to be true because it was so easy. I tend to associate the whole process of having a baby with difficulty since having Charlotte was difficult. It was two years of trying, and failing, and not knowing why. After she was here, it took me a long time to even think about possibly going through that again to have a second child. A huge part of us wondered if the right decision was to just be thankful and leave well enough alone--and for a long time that was how we left it. I didn't want to think about trying again because I didn't think I had it in me to walk down the same road as I did with Charlotte to try for another. Once we finally decided that we did want to have one more, I took a deep breath and said that I'd e-mail my doctor that Monday to see if any testing could be done to rule out roadblocks sooner rather than later. I found out I was pregnant the day before I sent that e-mail; I still can't really explain that one.
In an instant, I became the person I couldn't stand when I was trying to have Charlotte. The one who blinked and ended up pregnant. It was all too easy and for the first trimester I kept expecting the rug to be pulled out from under me--I know that sounds morbid, but that's what constant sickness and crazy hormones will do to a person. Even once I was feeling good and it was clear that the baby was healthy, I worried more about things like how much the baby was kicking, moving, etc. than I did the first time. I would get nervous before ultrasounds, which I didn't with Charlotte, always leaving them so relieved that everything was okay. I definitely cared less about cute baby clothes and room decor this time around and lived by the "as long as the baby is healthy" mantra.
And she is. She's healthy, she's beautiful, and she's here. And we couldn't be happier.
~Stacy
