Where I've Been

Well, I didn't intend to take over a month long break from my little blog. Things just sort of ended up that way, after a series of surprises (some lovely, some not) interrupted my regularly scheduled life and now, here we are--Thanksgiving is over, Christmas is over (two heavily blogged about topics in past years) and we're just a few days away from a new year.

So a brief list of what's been happening since my last post on November 17th:

• Charlotte has brought home no less than 403 colds since she started preschool, many of which occurred in late November thru now. And some of which she has kindly shared.
• My work life took on a new level of insane, with the acquisition of part of another agency that added 95 employees and 51 clients to our existing organization in the span of about three weeks. We grew from a 300 employee agency to a staff of almost 400 hundred just about overnight. It's been...interesting, to say the least. And busy.
• Typical holiday preparations, coupled with an unusually late start on my part led to a far more hectic than usual holiday season. I was wrapping presents on Christmas Eve, something I have never done before. 

I think that's about it. 

Oh wait. One more thing.

• We're having another baby.

!!!!!!!!

Yes, you read that right. I'm pregnant with Baby #2, due in July. It was the best kind of surprise we could have asked for, but also one that has left me feeling like garbage for the past seven weeks (and counting). I'm at the tail end of this lovely first trimester (it will be over the week of my birthday, which is the best gift I can imagine) and I'm crossing my fingers and toes that the all day nausea, headaches and tiredness disappears. This is similar to my pregnancy with Charlotte, and the feeling crappy part wore off by the end of the first trimester, so I'm hopeful this is the same. Babies. Troublemakers, even when they're the size of a prune :)

So that about sums up my life. I haven't had the energy to do much of anything (seriously. The other night I cooked a real dinner that actually included a vegetable and almost cried from both the effort and sight of something on our plates that wasn't crackers, bagels, or some other sort of beige). 

I'll post more soon, but in the meantime I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and I wish you a Happy New Year!

~Stacy

First Day.

And so here we are. The first day of preschool. The day that Charlotte has been looking forward to pretty much since she started talking and the day that I've been looking forward to and kind of dreading ever since last winter when we decided to send her to preschool this year.

And, much to my relief, it was a smashing success. She loved it and she can't wait to go back. The first day was a shorter day (90 minutes), and parents were asked to come too. So we went, and several times she said "okay Mommy and Daddy, you can go home now!" It actually made me feel really good to hear her say that since I want her to like it and I would feel awful if I dropped her off and she was sobbing and begging me to stay.

The school is wonderful, the teachers are wonderful and I think she's going to have a great year. Several people asked me if it was hard or if I cried at all, and the answer to both has surprisingly been no. I think seeing how much fun she had that first day, coupled with the fact that it's only two days a week for a few hours each makes it easier. I was feeling a lot of feelings the night before, telling Chad that I was about two steps away from forgetting about the whole thing and just starting her next year. Or running away to some remote part of Vermont and homeschooling and living off the land and avoiding all contact with the rest of the world as a way to convince myself that I had stopped time. 

I've never been good with change, but thankfully my daughter is much more of a chameleon :)

She drew her new teacher two pictures at home and insisted on bringing them the first day to give to her. She also gave herself and Winnie several pep talks about how he couldn't come in to school but that he would have to "stay safe in the car" while she was in school and she would see him soon.

Her second day of school, tomorrow, is "Bring Your Favorite Stuffed Animal Day" so she's pretty excited that Winnie can actually come with her then.

~Stacy

Rusty

I've been feeling a bit rusty lately--as in, mentally creaky. Like, you can probably hear the gears of my brain turning as I attempt to think really hard or complete a task. Particularly the gears responsible for memory, focus and any kind of technical skill.

If you read this blog, chances are you actually know me in real life because a grand total of about five people read this blog and I am likely related to all of them. But in case you did not know this, I recently went back to work part-time.

When I was pregnant with Charlotte, I was working full-time (and then some) as an HR Director for a non-profit. I had planned on going back to work part-time after my maternity leave was up, but after just a few weeks home with my new baby I tearfully told Chad that we had to find a way for me to stay home with her. So we did, and thus my maternity leave went from an expected three months to almost three years.

During that time, I still worked as an independent consultant for the same organization. Thankfully their Executive Director (my boss) is an incredible person who allowed me to keep my foot in the door and work for them as a consultant, rather than just telling me to take a hike :) So while I have been working these past three years, I've not actually been anyone's employee. I've had no office, no co-workers, no space separate from the one I live in to physically go. I worked here and there, between naps and story times, after her bedtime, and at random points during the week where I could squeeze it in.

Somewhere along the way I started getting antsy. Over the winter it was especially noticeable, likely due to the hellish winter that went on for 74 months and almost took my little remaining sanity with it when it finally left in May. I was feeling out of balance in a way that I knew I had to do something about, but wasn't sure what. Charlotte had become a bit more independent, I was feeling stuck in a rut, and I was really starting to miss interaction with adults and having a group of peers and co-workers around me for longer than an hour here and there when I had a meeting to go to. Sure, I run into other adults every day but typically it's in a setting where those adults are also with their child(ren) and our conversations are inevitably about said child(ren).

So on a cold winter day in January my boss called to ask if I'd be willing to come back to the office one day a week. I could not say yes fast enough. I started in February, found that I was enjoying it a great deal, and now another day has been added to my schedule. My contract as a consultant ended in May, and as of last week I am back at my old job two days per week as an actual employee--with an office, an email address, phone extension and space completely separate from my home.

It's a unique situation to jump back in to your same job that you left three years ago. First of all, the organization moved office buildings about two years ago--to a different city and everything--so there was a lot right off the bat that was unfamiliar. Little things, like where the silverware drawer in the kitchen is or how they work their new fancy coffeemaker, are new to me. There are so many new faces. I used to know everyone's name, and now at least five times a day I am introducing myself to someone I've never met--sometimes employees who have been there over a year or two. I used to know everyone's job title, phone extension, work site. Now I have to check a list for everything. Passwords to all of the websites I need to access? I don't know a one. I have a list of login information that's six pages long and I have to refer to it every time I work.

They have a new fax machine, new copier, new mail filing system, new phones. It's all foreign. They have different people who do different jobs, some jobs that didn't even exist last time I was there and some completely altered and reassigned.

I filled out new hire paperwork, something I used to administer before, and had to ask an embarrassing amount of questions. Where should I sign? What forms do you need back? Who should I turn this into? I used to answer those questions and now I'm the asker.

I feel like the new kid, but then again I have more history overall at the agency than many of the people there. I just don't have the recent history.

So I'm rusty. Creaky. But so glad to working these forgotten gears in my brain again. It's a good thing--for all of us.

Vacation Part I: South Haven & St. Joseph

We recently returned from our beach vacation to Michigan--and it was fantastic! Last year we went, sight unseen, to South Haven on a whim and stayed just about 24 hours total. We had a wonderful time and knew we wanted to come back again when we could spend more time here, as well as visit other beach towns nearby. So this year we planned a five day trip the week between Memorial Day and Charlotte's birthday. It's an excellent time to go, since it's the very last week in this area that's still considered "low season." From what we've heard, once "high season" hits it can get pretty crazy.

It's about a 4.5 hour drive from our house and we made it in 5--just two quick stops! Unbelievable. Last year that drive took close to 9 hours since we had to stop so much to let Charlotte out to blow off steam. A year made a world of difference in how tolerant and patient she is with road trips.

We stayed at a little old cottage two blocks from the beach in South Haven. The place was really cute and clean--and old. It stands out since so many of the older homes in the area have been renovated or knocked down with new homes rebuilt. Charlotte had her own little room with bunk beds, plus there was a large eat-in kitchen so we didn't have to eat every single meal out. That did not stop us from getting donuts at The Golden Brown Bakery every single morning, however.

South Haven is a really charming town that is completely walkable. The beach is in easy walking distance to the downtown area, which is large enough to have plenty of shops and restaurants but still small enough to get around the whole place by foot without a problem. The beach is large, super clean, and (since we went in low season) mostly empty.

Just south of South Haven (about 10 miles?) is a town called St. Joseph. They have a gorgeous beach called Silver Beach, which is home to a carousel, giant splash pad, and a children's museum. We skipped the museum but spent time at the beach and splash pad, both of which got an A+ rating in Charlotte's book.

The joy coming from that little girl when the fountains came on was just about the best thing to witness. She was so excited, until she got so cold (it was kind of a chilly day) that she finally gave up and came over to me, shivering, asking if I'd "hold me like a tiny baby in my towel, please mama?"

And since there are about 3,000 photos in this post alone, I'll be back with Part II soon...

~Stacy

Memorial Day Weekend

Lovely :)

Next, we vacation.

Until then...

~Stacy

About Time

Yesterday was the first trip to the beach in months and months. The first of many, many more. The season has begun... :)

 

~Stacy

Lately (This is a Long One)

I've been neglecting my little blog lately. I don't want to neglect it; I love this blog. Even if only my mom and grandma read it I still love it because it holds a lot of stories and photos from the past two years that I want to hold onto. It's my space to share the things that make me happy. I make a point not to blog about negative things--not because they don't happen, but because they aren't really the things I want to reflect on at the end of the day. This is a place I can come when I'm feeling unmotivated, stressed, overwhelmed or down and after looking at a few posts I almost always feel energized again, at least a little bit.

I've overextended myself in the past few months, admittedly, and totally by my own doing. I created my crafting website, which was fun and a new creative venture for me. The purpose of that was to keep the sewing/business related posts separate so I could draw an audience to that alone without having my personal life and photos shared with it. I started offering sewing and quilting classes and before I directed potential customers to my business site I wanted to make sure it was just that: a business site.

It's been going well--readers are showing up and I've been getting a positive response. And it gives me an outlet to still share all of my sewing related projects to a group of readers who are truly interested. But after awhile I noticed that I felt less and less motivated to make and share projects. It started feeling the way I never hoped it would: like an obligation. I don't do well with obligations. As soon as I feel like something is obligated I immediately don't want to do it. I lose interest and motivation very, very quickly. I found myself halfheartedly making projects, or worse--starting them and leaving them unfinished on the table, lacking the drive to finish them.

I never want to feel obligated to be creative, or feel like I have to make something if my heart isn't in it. I've discovered that I really enjoy teaching sewing lessons and thankfully, so far at least, I've gotten a very positive response. My class offerings are growing and I'm getting contacted about private lessons more and more. It's a good feeling, but in order to keep going with it I need to want to do it. If I lose the motivation to make things then how can I successfully motivate others to want to learn? I want to want to be creative, otherwise it loses its purpose entirely.

There are enough obligations in life. There are obligations we all have: laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, blah blah blah. In mine in particular, I have a two year old who is my primary daily employer (I can't call her an obligation; she's way better than that). After that comes my HR consulting work--I have a contract that requires certain duties and a set amount of hours every month. They deserve this, but they also deserve quality. Quality doesn't come when you're overtired and stressed out. After that comes my hobby job--teaching sewing lessons. I say "hobby job" because while it is a job and a real business I also feel like it's a hobby since I have fun with it and get to talk about my favorite hobby to people who pay me money to do so. Not a bad gig.

In between all of that comes the things that I enjoy just for the sake of them: photography, blogging, and yes, sewing. But I came to an important conclusion this week when I found myself with free time and zero desire to sew: something has to give. And that something is going to be my crafting blog, for the time being. I made this decision five days ago. I've been in a sewing slump for five weeks. Since making the decision, I've finished two abandoned projects and started on another. I've decided I want to learn embroidery and I've practiced learning new quilting techniques. My motivation is coming back and in feeling less obligated to make and share new things all the time for the sake of my crafting site I've unlocked my mojo. I feel like I'll be a better teacher to those who want to sew. I feel interested in it again in a way I haven't for awhile now. Feeling so unmotivated made me question if this teaching venture was the right decision; now I'm not questioning that anymore. I was my own problem all along :)

This is a long and meandering post, so if you're actually still reading it and haven't fallen asleep--thank you. And if you are interested in learning how to sew or quilt (or know someone who is), I'd love to hear from you. Email bluebaycottage@gmail.com. And thanks for listening.

So without further ado, here is a sampling of what's been going on over the past week or so.

First, we got flu shots. I told her what we were doing and she waited patiently at the CVS Minute Clinic while reading her "magazine"--aka a Fisher Price catalog featuring The Little People. She took it like a champ and only cried for a minute and solidly earned herself a treat, shown on the right.

Last weekend she went on her second camping trip. This time she slept in a tent (!) and went with Chad, my dad and my brother. And Izzy, my parents' dog. She was pretty much in heaven and loved everything about her trip. It didn't hurt that they had the best camping weather ever.

I stayed behind and enjoyed a bit of solitude (and a nasty cold). I had a wild evening alone watching The Big Bang Theory reruns and making a play mat/village for Charlotte's random Little People stuff. Who knows what I might have done if left alone for a second evening. There might have been something really crazy going on, like baking a dozen cupcakes or reorganizing a closet. Here's said play mat:

I used a yard of fabric then cut green felt for the road and sewed it on, then stitched yellow lines onto the felt to make lanes. The pond is a piece of blue felt that I fused to the fabric with fusible web. When she's done playing we can toss all the toy pieces into a basket and fold up the mat--easy clean up!

When the campers got home we had ice cream. Superman ice cream, to be specific.

The rest of last week the girl and I spent it trying to get rid of our colds (mostly successfully, though we shared it with Chad so now he's enjoying our generosity).

It's strange how quickly summer has disappeared. Now when we take our post-dinner bike rides to the beach we can only stay for a little while before it's dark. The ice cream stand there is closed for the season which makes the end of summer very real (I feel my seasons in terms of ice cream accessibility). 

The leaves are starting to explode with color. I think this upcoming week or next will be prime time to catch them in all of their colorful glory and I have my camera ready and waiting. 

Happy October.

~Stacy

September Sunset

I don't know how many more chances we'll get to spend evenings at the beach...though Charlotte asks to go literally every night after dinner, so I imagine we'll keep doing it until it starts getting dark before dinnertime. We rode our bikes up there Friday evening, and it turned out to be the perfect time to go. It was cool but not cold, the sky was clear and colorful, and it wasn't teeming with obnoxious high school kids since they were all either out or at the football game. Lovely :)

Have a wonderful weekend :)

~Stacy