So to back up, I've mentioned that Howard is "quirky" and "disgruntled" and has "questionable" social skills. Those are all true, and they're also nice and somewhat vague ways of saying that he has aggression issues. In particular, he's not a huge fan of kids or other dogs (and some other things, but those are two that stand out). While he's never done anything physically harmful, he has acted in ways that convinced us he was unpredictable and could not be trusted to behave safely in an environment with a young child. So, rather than live in situation that could be unsafe to our child or work around the issue by crating him often or gating him away from us (no fun for him at all), we decided that the best situation for everyone involved would be to find him a home that was free of children and animals with a family that understood his needs and behaviors and was willing to work with him.
We had been working with a local Corgi Rescue group for over 15 months now. We originally reached out to them when the behaviors really starting causing a problem and they were able to connect us with an animal trainer and behavior specialist who came out to our house and showed us some things we could do to work with him. While some of his issues did improve the major concern that we had all along remained the same: the safety issue with our child and children in general. Over the summer, we had decided that we were going to look for a new home for him as soon as we returned from vacation in Maine. Well, I missed him a lot on vacation and dragged my heels and kept putting off what I knew was the inevitable. Why? Because it was easier to tiptoe around him and manage his attitude than it was to deal with the emotional difficulty of giving him away. I couldn't go through with it, even if I knew deep down that I needed to.
It became clear around the start of this year that dragging our heels was simply not an option anymore. I reached out to the Corgi Rescue agency again, and they ended up working with me to place an ad for Howard on Petfinder. They screened applicants who fit both their requirements and Howard's and sent me the ones who "passed." It was then up to me to reach out to those people and talk to them and determine who would become Howard's new family. We kept Howard with us the whole time until we found a match--I knew that putting him into a foster situation would have wreaked havoc on him. Also, I wanted to know where he was going, who he was going to live with in his "forever home." It was important to me that we picked the best home possible.
Well, we didn't have to wait very long. A couple weeks ago I contacted someone who was interested in him and we ended up talking on the phone one night for almost two hours. I felt like we had known each other for years after talking to her--the conversation just flowed so easily. I gave her the whole Howard story, withholding nothing because it's important that whomever ended up adopting him understand everything about his personality and why we've made the decision we have. They needed to know about everything--his positive traits and all his negative traits.
It turns out that the person I spoke to that night had recently lost her beloved Corgi in January after almost 14 years together. That Corgi also had some, ahem, "behavior challenges" so she knew what she was in for with Howard. She and her husband and college-age daughter had fallen for Howard in his photo (even his name, which made me happy!) and after hearing his story they were still smitten. After several emails and more phone calls, it was decided that they were definitely going to be Howard's new family.
So, this past Friday, we loaded him and his belongings into the car and made our way to Oakmont, PA to deliver him to his new home. I thought I would be more of wreck that day, but I was surprisingly calm and ready. I had been saying goodbye to him for two weeks and having moments of sadness the whole time. I was ready to move forward and focus on the positive parts of what was happening: that Howard was going to his forever home, a place where he could be his quirky self without any barriers in a place with people who could love and appreciate him despite some of his issues.
When we arrived, he sniffed around their yard and then went inside and immediately hopped up on the couch. He seemed a little unsure, but much more relaxed than he typically is when he goes someplace different (particularly the vet or the kennel, where he hides and shakes). We immediately felt comfortable with the B. family, like they were people we'd known for a long time and had visited before. They had even made up a bag of Easter goodies for Charlotte and didn't blink and eye when she starting rummaging through things in their living room and attempting to climb their stairs. We stayed about an hour, talking and laughing like we were old friends. When we left, we kept it quick. I didn't want to start bawling in their house and making things super awkward for everyone and besides, I'd had my moment like that with Howard that morning (and all week). I was relieved that he didn't try to follow us out; he stayed in his comfy spot on the couch, almost as if he knew he was staying and that he was okay with it.
It wasn't even an hour later that I got this picture:
He's already happy there, and he's going to love it even more as he gets more comfortable and settled. In fact, he gets to go on vacation to Martha's Vineyard with them which makes me terribly jealous! I truly could not have asked for a better family to come along for him.
This is not a situation I ever thought I would be in. Growing up, we always had at least one dog in our home and we've always seen our dogs through until the end of their lives. This is not a decision I wish on anyone to have to make. I had many times where I felt like I failed him, or where I felt horribly guilty, or where I just felt sad. But no one ever promised that a good decision would come easily. And I owed it to him to make sure that he ended up in an environment where he could thrive. He put his trust in me to keep him safe and happy and cared for; the hardest part was admitting that I wasn't the best person for the job.
Since making this decision, I've had a few people reach out to me who are in similar situations with their animals. It's such a personal decision that it can be hard to give advice on this topic. What was right for me is not right for everyone. The best thing I could offer is to trust your gut. Chances are you know what the right decision is; it's just a matter of admitting it and taking action. I believe this is true for every major decision in life.
This weekend has been tough. We are really feeling his absence in a way I don't think we were prepared for. It's very quiet...we have hardwood floors throughout our house, so if Howard was up he was making noise. Those paws were constantly tip-tapping on the hard surfaces and not having that makes it eerily quiet. When there's a noise outside or the mailman comes, there's no barking. This is the first time we've ever lived in this house without a dog, so it's a big adjustment.
So that it my epically long story, and thank you for reading. This has taken the wind out of my sails for the past few weeks and I've had a hard time getting motivated to do much of anything. I woke up today determined to make more of an effort to get back into the swing of things, so I'll be back to my regular blogging and positive posts soon.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
~Stacy
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