Lately (This is a Long One)

I've been neglecting my little blog lately. I don't want to neglect it; I love this blog. Even if only my mom and grandma read it I still love it because it holds a lot of stories and photos from the past two years that I want to hold onto. It's my space to share the things that make me happy. I make a point not to blog about negative things--not because they don't happen, but because they aren't really the things I want to reflect on at the end of the day. This is a place I can come when I'm feeling unmotivated, stressed, overwhelmed or down and after looking at a few posts I almost always feel energized again, at least a little bit.

I've overextended myself in the past few months, admittedly, and totally by my own doing. I created my crafting website, which was fun and a new creative venture for me. The purpose of that was to keep the sewing/business related posts separate so I could draw an audience to that alone without having my personal life and photos shared with it. I started offering sewing and quilting classes and before I directed potential customers to my business site I wanted to make sure it was just that: a business site.

It's been going well--readers are showing up and I've been getting a positive response. And it gives me an outlet to still share all of my sewing related projects to a group of readers who are truly interested. But after awhile I noticed that I felt less and less motivated to make and share projects. It started feeling the way I never hoped it would: like an obligation. I don't do well with obligations. As soon as I feel like something is obligated I immediately don't want to do it. I lose interest and motivation very, very quickly. I found myself halfheartedly making projects, or worse--starting them and leaving them unfinished on the table, lacking the drive to finish them.

I never want to feel obligated to be creative, or feel like I have to make something if my heart isn't in it. I've discovered that I really enjoy teaching sewing lessons and thankfully, so far at least, I've gotten a very positive response. My class offerings are growing and I'm getting contacted about private lessons more and more. It's a good feeling, but in order to keep going with it I need to want to do it. If I lose the motivation to make things then how can I successfully motivate others to want to learn? I want to want to be creative, otherwise it loses its purpose entirely.

There are enough obligations in life. There are obligations we all have: laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, blah blah blah. In mine in particular, I have a two year old who is my primary daily employer (I can't call her an obligation; she's way better than that). After that comes my HR consulting work--I have a contract that requires certain duties and a set amount of hours every month. They deserve this, but they also deserve quality. Quality doesn't come when you're overtired and stressed out. After that comes my hobby job--teaching sewing lessons. I say "hobby job" because while it is a job and a real business I also feel like it's a hobby since I have fun with it and get to talk about my favorite hobby to people who pay me money to do so. Not a bad gig.

In between all of that comes the things that I enjoy just for the sake of them: photography, blogging, and yes, sewing. But I came to an important conclusion this week when I found myself with free time and zero desire to sew: something has to give. And that something is going to be my crafting blog, for the time being. I made this decision five days ago. I've been in a sewing slump for five weeks. Since making the decision, I've finished two abandoned projects and started on another. I've decided I want to learn embroidery and I've practiced learning new quilting techniques. My motivation is coming back and in feeling less obligated to make and share new things all the time for the sake of my crafting site I've unlocked my mojo. I feel like I'll be a better teacher to those who want to sew. I feel interested in it again in a way I haven't for awhile now. Feeling so unmotivated made me question if this teaching venture was the right decision; now I'm not questioning that anymore. I was my own problem all along :)

This is a long and meandering post, so if you're actually still reading it and haven't fallen asleep--thank you. And if you are interested in learning how to sew or quilt (or know someone who is), I'd love to hear from you. Email bluebaycottage@gmail.com. And thanks for listening.

So without further ado, here is a sampling of what's been going on over the past week or so.

First, we got flu shots. I told her what we were doing and she waited patiently at the CVS Minute Clinic while reading her "magazine"--aka a Fisher Price catalog featuring The Little People. She took it like a champ and only cried for a minute and solidly earned herself a treat, shown on the right.

Last weekend she went on her second camping trip. This time she slept in a tent (!) and went with Chad, my dad and my brother. And Izzy, my parents' dog. She was pretty much in heaven and loved everything about her trip. It didn't hurt that they had the best camping weather ever.

I stayed behind and enjoyed a bit of solitude (and a nasty cold). I had a wild evening alone watching The Big Bang Theory reruns and making a play mat/village for Charlotte's random Little People stuff. Who knows what I might have done if left alone for a second evening. There might have been something really crazy going on, like baking a dozen cupcakes or reorganizing a closet. Here's said play mat:

I used a yard of fabric then cut green felt for the road and sewed it on, then stitched yellow lines onto the felt to make lanes. The pond is a piece of blue felt that I fused to the fabric with fusible web. When she's done playing we can toss all the toy pieces into a basket and fold up the mat--easy clean up!

When the campers got home we had ice cream. Superman ice cream, to be specific.

The rest of last week the girl and I spent it trying to get rid of our colds (mostly successfully, though we shared it with Chad so now he's enjoying our generosity).

It's strange how quickly summer has disappeared. Now when we take our post-dinner bike rides to the beach we can only stay for a little while before it's dark. The ice cream stand there is closed for the season which makes the end of summer very real (I feel my seasons in terms of ice cream accessibility). 

The leaves are starting to explode with color. I think this upcoming week or next will be prime time to catch them in all of their colorful glory and I have my camera ready and waiting. 

Happy October.

~Stacy